Shan Hu Hai ~ Coral Sea

I have been repeating this song non stop for 2 weeks on my mp3 phone le. So this is wat i am gonna do to close one chapter of my life. Since this is the last song that i remember of this er... thing, i decided to do something really romantic. ( in my own definition, it IS romantic. LOL~)

The lyrics in ENGLISH. really sweat man!!! Took me like 4 hours of working time to translate into something logical and yet retaining the same meaning. Almost.

ps* play the song and read. oh, its so cui~
i even got the MTV.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=qn3qRNgG9eU



the misty fog starts to blur the sea line,
yet the sorrow is still so clear and define.
i could only look on helplessly,
from the beginning till the end.

you whisper about your leaving,
the silent saddness is agonising.
have you ever comprehend the raving tides,
it was my sea of tears.

turning away, you have so much
you couldn't say
the seagull and the fish in love,
was it just an accident?

the differences in our love,
have always existed,
How did anticipation accumulate to hurt?

turning away, we couldn't say good bye,
the blue coral sea is missing eternity.
if only we have said what should be said.
now that only memories remain,
your smile is already weak.
Let everything bury under the coral sea.

how do you restore the receding sea?
how do you fix a broken heart?
its just that everything ended so quickly,
there isn't time to even get over.

is the sea shell hiding any secrets?
we no longer have the energy to pry.
against the wind and the bitter love,
is there supposed to be fate left?

turning away, you have so much
you couldn't say
the seagull and the fish in love,
was it just an accident?

the differences in our love,
have always existed,
How did anticipation accumulate to hurt?

turning away, we couldn't say good bye,
the blue coral sea is missing eternity.
if only we have said what should be said.
now that only memories remain,
your smile is already weak.
Let everything bury under the coral sea.


SPOIL~

cui~

i must have been a poet in my previous life. LOL~

a romantic one too.

Envy, Pride, Greed, Lust, wrath, sloth and gluttony

I was reading my previous post. oh, i was so determined then. spoil~

"Lose the battle but not the war" ~told to bibitan by the very suave Mr chow~

neh, i never lose the battle, the roadshow turned out fine, my branch managed to produce 61 cases at the end of 3 days. All right, i should give credit to some of the branch people. Yes, some of them tried. Amazing. I saw more efforts put together in the past 3 days than the half year i was sitting in my little cubicle. chui~

Oh, i got to give credit to myself too. I was working like a mad cow, working 12 hours straight, refusing to waste time on lunches and trying to tag customers myself. Tag customers, something that i am always unwilling to do. But i am doing it for save my ass. Or rather my face?

After all the excessive efforts and stress, I began to wonder what was all that for. Which probably gonna explain why i am feeling so sore and bitter about everything. Once again. pui~

Ya, WHAT WAS ALL THAT FOR? was i trying to show that birdbrain anything? FUCKING HELL, she was not even here, she ACTUALLY GOT 3 DAYS LEAVE APPROVED ON MY ROADSHOW. no, its not her. I am not bothered by birdbrains who post no threat to me.

Then WHO IS IT, WHAT IS IT. I dun put in efforts unnesscarily. IT MUST HAVE BEEN FOR A PURPOSE. why do i care so much for? WHAT DID I WANNA PROVE!! i got the number of cases that my big big boss wan. SO WAT.

will he be looking at me at a different light? will he recognise the efforts that me and my branch put in? will he notice my existance after all these shit. neh. he probably dun even know how to spell my fucking name.

oh, i am whinning. WAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAH.... and i was writing in my previous post to remind myself, not to feel sorry for myself and help myself.

spoil~~~~~

forget it, i tried. Dun have, SUAH.

So this is how things goes:

First, i ENVY people who have it all and is forever sitting on the top, Second, my PRIDE makes me work abit harder, third, my GREED make me wanted more and LUST made me want everything BIG and ahead of everyone, then WRATH sets in when i couldnt get it. After getting all worked up and angry, i become a SLOTH and refuse to do anything anymore. Then i start to eat 6 meals a day to fill my emptiness up and become a GLUTTON.

WAAHHAAHAHHHAHAAHAHAHA....... see, i know myself so well. SPOIL~

i think nothing could be worse when u, yourself perfectly knows wat your fucking problem and u just cannot stop yourself slipping into that cycle!!! Why am i always so rational and drunk at the SAME TIME.

oh, and miss teo is flying off for 10 days. great... 10 days... no one's gonna chui with me and i only wanna chui with her. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

Come to think of it, i should not have been so ambitious. From the very first few initial blogs, all i ask from this job is enough money to open my bottles so that i can chui. Oh, i should be more contented with my bottles and stop thinking about anything else. or even anyone.

Ya, i got enough chivas and tiger every month to make me drunk every single day. Hmm.. i achieve my objectives right? why am i complaining?

LOL~ This is a happy bibi tan typing once again. She has successfully talked herself out of her miserable mood cycle and is able to function. SEE, blogging is good. Like i mention in my very first blog, blogging is good for health. GOOD for the mind. Good for rationalising your problems. Good for self consolation and self motivation.

Yeah, i finally see the light ONCE AGAIN! I wanna thank myself and whoever for showing the light to me. wohohohohohohohoho.......... must remember to pay PUB and keep that fucking lights on man!!

Show me the light, again

"Caught in the dreams of yesterday, in a world so far away;
show me that love is here to stay

can we find another way?

pls take me far away, to the world of yesterday.
i wait for my dreams to come true, its another part of you
you turn back time and you will find you are always on my mind,
if you be here and i have a feel, the time is right, just show me the light.

maybe i'm too blind to see, there's a chance for you and me
but you're always in my heart and i knew it from the start.
just come back to me and stay,

we will find another way.

you'll show me the light.." ~bibitan~


i am starting my techno frenzy once again. This usually happens when the stress level within me builds up to beyond safety level. This is usually accompanied by chivas. AH... techno and chivas always go well hand in hand....

Anyhow, many things are going to happen in the next 1 day and the next few weeks... I am not too sure if i can handle and i have been doing excessive whinning to my friends, colleagues and to myself. Ya, i was feeling so sorry for myself.

I have decided to PUT A STOP TO THIS.

Life lessons ONCE AGAIN. Rather than talking to the mass audiences, i feel that all my life lessons are for myself to remind myself to get HOLD of my sanity.


Life Lesson : only you, YOURSELF can help you.

Remember ppl, as little citizens/little people, no one in this BLOODY world can help you!! WAKE UP YOUR IDEA and stop whinning. If u have a problem, fiaking move your butt and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

You see, i have been sitting in my little prison cell, waiting for some bloody ppl out there to give me some business. Apparently, i have been waiting for half a year and nothing is happening!! Today, this birdbrain counter staff even slap right INTO MY FACE, her point of view about my roadshow. Tomorrow is my roadshow, yes, my bloody branch is having a BLOODY ROADSHOW again. My big big boss has made it very clear that my branch has to produce at least 60 cases. KNN. u think wat, production factory issit? we are not producing computer chips here le!!

I have never offended that birdbrain, i have no idea why she is so against me. The minute she heard that we are having a roadshow, she went to take the leave application form. When her manager dun allow her to take leave, she say ALOUD

"roadshow ONLY ma, why cannot take leave? so unfair!"

wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..................... this is the kind of support i get from my own branch...MY OWN BRANCH. clap clap.... initially this morning, i was so angry until i felt a tear coming. Then i remembered what my daddy always tell me, and how he always train his kids.

" if u wan something, go get it yourself "

beautiful. so, the battle starts tomorrow. I am no longer waiting for anyone to give me anything. I will go get it myself. I wan business, i will go get it myself. The counter staff wanna see me die, i will show them who's dying first. Anyway i found out from another colleague that the birdbrain counter staff has always been so hostile towards me be cos, before i came to this branch, she was the prettiest.

................................................................

Get the idea?

*sweats*

so, its a case of jealousy. LOL~ i just wanna add one important note. Even if i drop down dead this moment, she still will not be the prettiest. WHERE GOT CHAR BO TATTOO THE EYEBROWS UNTIL SO UGLY LIKE HER???? its like 2 slabs of black paint on the forehead.

WAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..........

opps, i think i am very mean. but, ITS TRUE MA! WAHAHAAHAHAHAHHHAAH........

anyway, the point i wanna put across today is, dun sit and feel sorry for yourself. Do something. If you really want it so badly, then MOVE IT! dun sit in front of the PC and cry, Stop thinking about the unnecessary stuff that will bring you no where. Dun hurt yourself either be cos, its not gonna help you anyhow!!!! if u wan sympathy or attention, fiaking carry a bowl and stand along orchard road, with a big poster with your SOBS stories. If u ever get one coin from any passer-by, yah, you are pitiful. Otherwise, find a solution man!

I gonna go prepare for my battle tomorrow le.

I will emerge the winner.


PS* i usually get wat i wan, badly.

Spoil~~~~~

The only reason why i am typing this today is be cos i am bored once again. Sian, half of my original colleagues are gone. To serve the nation, to give birth or to greener pastures. I looked at my pathetic msn list, hardly anyone left to tok to me. So i guess, its time to start talking to myself again.

Good.. Now that things has evolved to such a manner, i will do wat i do best. Self entertainment. I can easily entertain myself for hours, sitting down doing NOTHING. I am really good at this. Thus i seriously dun mind waiting for people/ be early for movies/ queue up for food or watsoever reasons. Miss Teo says i am patient. I think so too. I can patiently wait for things to happen, people to turn up, my turn to come. oh suddenly i recall the lyrics of a techno song:

"i wait for my dreams to come true"

Yes, i often do that too. WAHAHAHAAHAAH.... no wonder none of them ever come true. spoil~

Anyhow, i do have my proactive sides. If i ever wanted something, i will make sure i get it. Since i am not a very aggressive person by nature, i usually take a longer time than normal people. LOL~ Still, its hard for me to want anything. Be cos most of the time, i wait for things to happen. WAHAHAHAAHHAHA.... shit, the more i type, the more i think i am wasting resources on earth.

Oh, did i mention that i got a corn on my foot. KNN, its DAMN FXXXING painful lor. I used to laugh at my ex bf who has many corn on his feet. Many years later, today, i got one myself. Oh, i did not know its so painful, If i had known then, i will never laff at him lor. Anyway heard that he is very into malaysian gals now. WAHAHAAHAHAHAH.... i think the main reason is be cos he stays in woodlands and its very near the causeway? hmm... eh, i think i last heard that he wanna get married? dunno la, he is very into marriage. I wonder wats so great about signing a life-long bond, which takes another 3 years of your life to null the bond?

hmm... corn - ex bf - marriage. Oh, i am not very focus today.

eh, anyway back to my corn, or maybe as jessica has suspected, it could be a wart. GRRRRR.... damn pissed. Heard that the doctor will need to use nitrogen to Freeze it before it dropped off. It will take quite a few treatments before it heals. Spoil~~ how to walk to and fro to the clinic when its so painful! Can anyone tell me why does it hurt so much? i got this bloody corn in my right foot and an in-growing toe nail on my left foot. Every step i took its like walking on needles. Knn. Fxxx. Pardon me for my langauge but i am very disgusted with the condition of my feet now. I seriously think i have been neglecting my feet for too long. Buying all the cheapo shoes that causes so much discomfort and such. No wonder people says shoes are important! In the past i can never relate when people told me that their shoes cost more than $100. In fact all my shoes dun cost over $50, i even welcome shoes that my frenz dun wan. As long as it more or less fit my legs, i am fine with it.

eh... after typing all the things above, I am beginning to feel so unjustified!! I have been ill treating myself or rather my feet for SO LONG! argh... ok, i know the doctor can help. I have been postponing the trip to the doctor for quite long, be cos i was lazy. The doctor is so far away, walking there hurt.. its painful... i dun know to put pressure on my left or right leg...
(Yes, i am whining here. Let me whine can? Painful lor!)

Oh, let me post the picture of the corn or wart?













u think i really will post meh!??! Siao........ so unglam... LOL~

okies, i have successfully entertained myself for an hour. Mission accomplished. Time to go home or er... see doctor...