The happy ending

"what you cannot get is always the best" ~bibitan~

Once again, as a little citizen of a little island, in the big big world, of a large large galaxy, i am here today to define a happy ending. Firstly, there is a huge PROBLEM with this phrase. HOW ON EARTH can an ending ever be HAPPY?! When somethings come to an end, is there any reason to rejoice? i sincerely doubt so. okies, seeing from another point of view, for instance, an end of a loveless relationship = happy ending? or an end of a cancer patient's life = happy ending? Do you classify all these as happy ending? sounds pretty sad to me. There are always happy endings in fairy tales. FAIRY TALES only..

Next time, say "happy beginning". dun use "happy ending" le. ENDING is never happy.

Actually in this world, alot of things is not wat it seem to be. there is this story that i read somewhere. till today i can still remember it very clearly:

A swallow was flying north to hide from the winter. The swallow started the journey abit late, so as it was flying, the cold air is already making the journey harder. Finally its wings become so numbed from the coldness, it finally fell to the ground and fainted.

The swallow landed on this grass field. A cow was eating at the grass and was directly above the swallow. The cow was really full from all the eating and he laid a pile of shit.. YES, all over the swallow.. but the swallow was too unconcious to notice.

After several days, the warmth from the shit helped the swallow to regain concious. The swallow feel that its wings can move freely again. it was very very happy. Instead of getting out of the shit fast, it started singing.

Not far away, there was a pussy cat. Its sharp ear picked up the singing of the swallow. It soon found the swallow in the pile of cow dung and ate it all up.

All right, there are a few morales to this story:

1. Those who get you into alot of shit, may not necessary wanna harm you.

2. Those who get you out of shit, may not be your friend.

3. When you are in deep shit, PLEASE KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT..

Anyone out there

"Human is superior over other living creature be cos of the ability to think.

Then again

Human's most common mistake in life is, they think too much.." ~bibitan~



I cannot blog when i am not happy. Thus i never blog for the past 1 week plus be cos i am not happy. ok, i think i made my point.

Anyhow, recently nothing much has happened. OK, in case u are expecting some BIG BIG news from me, paiseh, bibi tan got no big news. i am a little citizen in this little island. i do not have the power to create and to contribute. Then again, NOT EVERYONE SHOULD CONTRIBUTE. There must be some people out there to destroy and some people to stay status quo. imagine lor, everyday alot of new things, new info, new gossips, oh this world very soon will be gone le.

Thus to all the little citizens like me, living life from day to day, with no dreams, no goals, no amibition, TRUST ME; the world needs people like us!! We make the world last longer, we allow the resources to deplete slower (be cos we spend alot of time sleeping and doing nothing) and we reallocate the monetary flows meaningfully ( we make the retail malls richer, sometimes we support the flag day, we buy tissues from old lady occassionally, we fill the pubs up, we spend on fast moving goods and intangibles.)

Christmas is coming. Streets are very very crowded. I dun dare to step out anywhere. Even my branch is so crowded. Not sure if its be cos of the festive season, i am a nicer person recently. Usually i turn people away when they wanna make any enquries. recently, i helped them even though its not my business. Or maybe i am plain bored. WAHAHAHAAHAH... opps. OK, i am generally a NICE PERSON, i cant bear to hurt ppl. oh, thats a flaw.

I have this friend. I will call him Leo. He once said these words about me, which is so true till this day.

"Well she has abstract thoughts loves to lose in her own world, a smart and intelligent lady. Have changing personality, which make her so attractive and sexy. Temperamental quiet, shy and humble. Love freedom, rebellious when restricted. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but will not show it. Dislike unnecessary things, romantic on the inside not outside. She is a sweet and conscious looking girl one look you will know her fashion sense, she got those dangling accessories with her, which form part of her fashion statement."

So true.

Life's a stage, people come and go. Some people left foot print, some people left a hole.



*ps to leo:
i dun wanna deliberately blog be cos you ask me to. But then again i have wanted to say this for a very long time. Its a "THANK YOU". In the past or at present, you have given me some great support that only the most expensive Wacoal or triumph Bra can give. Thanks for being there.

Bad boy

"you never thought that a girl could be strong;
now i show u how to go on..

be my bad boy, be my man
be my weekend lover but dun be my fren.

You can be my bad boy, i understand;
that i dun need you in my life again.." ~techno remix non-stop!!~

sometimes hor, techno songs' lyrics are full of rubbish. but then again, i feel that got some meaning underneath also. Like this song.. a girl telling a bad boy, he can be her weekend lover or be her man, BUT not a friend. Make sense. Bad boys cannot be friends.. ok, i am toking rubbish again.. pls ignore me. thank u.

then again, my weekend very occupied.. I can do with a weekday lover though.. WAHAAHAHAH.....

its already december. die, time pass very fast. 2005 is finishing soon.. next year, i will fan tai sui. Every time fan tai sui, i will be very suay.. *sweats* damn scary le.. its true lor.. previously i nearly died, dunno wats gonna happened next year must go buy alot of insurance man..

okies, this also means my birthday coming. sighz, getting older and older.. i also getting paiseh to celebrate.. i think i can start making my birthday wish list le.. hohohoho....

just now went ktv with miss teo. we dug out all the old old songs to sings... Songs always bring back alot of memories.. u think of a person, u think of an incident. Perfume works that way for me.. thats why i keep buying perfume. i love scents. let me see.. now, i got:

tommy true star (2 bottles in fact!! my darling elisa sweet heart bought for me one!! she is my most doted darling..)

JADORE by dior (this is a damn sexy scent lor!! love it man!!)

Kenzo Water, oh this is my fav since young..

Kenzo flower, this scent reminds me of ALOT of things.. i dun really wear it often.. it makes me very confused.

Provocative by Elizabeth Arden.. OH this is damn SEDUCTIVE!! wahahahahah....

Gucci ENVY ME. hmm this scent is introduced to me by elisa. Its a very very attractive scent. it boast my confidence alot.. hee... the bottle is damn sweet also.. but the scent dun last long...

Ferrogamo. erm, not sure how to spell.. this scent, is an all time favourite. Suitable for any time any place. a small drip, can last very long. good. i like quality good.

I still got 1 more, i think its call ATTRACTION, erm, cannot remember.. ok, never mind, i also lazy to dig. WAH.. like alot le. but i think not enough. i must go get somemore. Just now miss teo reminded me of a perfume that i had when i was very very young. 212.... WAHHAAHAH..... thats soooooooooooo sweet. its like smelling sweets!! ok ok, i must go get it too. the bottle also funny shape one, like a BOMB. wohohohohoh.... cool man.

okies, monday is over. good.

Karma will exist

“Nothing really matters, everything else does.” ~bibitan~

At this point of time, I am fuming with rage. I really dun understand why I always get bullied. But, but, being angry will usually affect my stream of thoughts and inner peace. Thus I am trying really hard to keep my cool and look for some form of release now.

Ok, one very important lesson of life that my dad always tells me is:

Always leave a way out for other people. (liu yi tiao hou lu ge bie ren zou)

Meaning, no matter how much injustice, how much grievances you suffered, do not push others to the wall. Example: X is always back stabbing you; one day u managed to get hold of some evidences that will break X completely in his career/marriage/life; my dad’s teachings is to just let it go; do not wreck other people’s life the way they wreck yours.

I remember this hard and well, this has been my character anyway, not exactly the very vengeful kind. Ya, I am full of rubbish about complaining or getting revenge, ultimately bibi tan is an empty vessal, make a lot of noise but no action. I find it hard to get angry, even if I do, it will be when the unfortunate incident has passed for like 4 hours, then it will suddenly dawned on me that I should get angry.

Ok, it has been 10 hours since an unbearable event took place today. I have been keeping my cool well. BUT BUT, I am bursting soon. It took me 10 hours to realize that I SHOULD HAVE really flared up at that woman this afternoon. I ought to.

Mdm xxx called me at 12 noon. She claimed to have seen me the day before when my branch was having a roadshow. Well, roadshows are generally busy times for me, thus I have been unable to blog for the past 2 days. I cant exactly recall her properly but I asked her how I can help her. She asked about free gifts for customers who do not purchase any products. I told her that all customers at the roadshow can receive free door gifts regardless of whether they buy any products or not.

Mdm xxx: “ I never receive any gifts”

Bibi: “oh, so sorry, I must have overlooked. The door gifts are mainly pens and packs of tissue”

Mdn xxx (raised her voice a little): “ you never let me scratch the door gift card, HOW I KNOW WHAT I GOT? ”

Bibi: “ so sorry, I can give you both”

Mdm xxx (shouting): “ GIVE ME BOTH?! You insulting me or wat? I am not those typical ah sou who is out for free gifts!!!!”

Bibi (weak): “I never mean that.. I was just being fair to you since you do not get the chance to scratch the card, I will just give you both.”

Mdm xxx (screaming) “ WAT FAIR, let me tell you, wat you did is VERY VERY WRONG!! ”

Bibi: “ sorry mdm, this is really a case of overlooked, I was probably busy or tired out, that’s why I did not give it to you. Usually I give it to my customers.”

Mdm xxx (sarcastic and at the top of her voice): “ busy? You busy? HA! You were sitting in your office doing NOTHING LOR! Like that call busy ar?! I TELL YOU, I know A LOT OF people in your branch. What you did is VERY VERY WRONG!!!”

Slams phone. Doooooo…………………………………

Ever wonder why I am always numbed about everything. These people out there really kills your zest for life.

Damn it, I feel like crying. Angry until wanna cry.

Leonard, I hope what you said before its true. There is such thing as KARMA right? I choose to believe you this time.

The day you went away

"The whole meaning of living to is to find a meaning to carry on” ~bibitan~

Everyone needs some space to breathe. I need an extra large space. Then again, if u give me too much space to breathe, i will wanna look for another space that is not so vast. Women. Can be very hard to please. WAHHAHAHAAHAHA....

One very significant thought i have recently is: YOU WILL NEVER GET WHAT YOU WANT. sighz.. this is a very sad phrase, trust me. Very often, you will yearn for something, someone, some place, most likely you will not get it. As life goes on, i have learnt to do without alot of things and people. I guess its good enough that you treasure those moments when u have those things/people, or just come slightly close to having. It is very sufficent.

I am someone who carries a huge luggage of memories along my life. I keep alot of things in this luggage, very often others dun realise that i can be sentimental. Sometimes when i am bored, i will start digging alot of things out. I will think and recall.

There was this incident at the hong kong ocean park. There is this little chubby china boy who stepped on my toes twice on 2 separate occasions. erm, ocean park is a BIG BIG place, spread over a little hill. YES, and he can still manage to step on my toes TWICE. argh! dun ask me how he did it. Nonetheless i remembered his round round face and tiny eyes and i told myself i MUST STEER CLEAR OF HIS PATH.

Then i came to the ferries wheel, the most harmless ride. Someone bumped into me in the queue. Its him. sighz.. i was like... *DUHZ* why u again!! never mind, i will ren. suddenly, someone tapped on my shoulders. The little boy's mother said to me

"sorry, but i am scared of heights, can he share the same ferry's wheel cabin with you?"

"............................................................."

i was speechless but i managed to mutter an "ok..."

And so, he being so tiny and round, he climbed into the same cabin as me..... watching him, i was like looking at a little ball. I was so helpless. He looked at me blankly and i stared back with disgust. As the cabin was moving up, i begin to feel abit scared. Erm, it did not occur to me that i am not very good with heights either. I tried to remain calm by looking at the manificant scenary and the round round boy. Not sure if it was because of the intense insecurity, i started toking to him. Under extreme circumstances, human do behave weirdly.

"wats your name"

*blank face*

"how old are you?

*gestures a five*

"where you come from?"

*shanghai*

"Can i take a picture with you?"

*blank face*

okies, i had a picture taken with him. erm, i have no idea how to post it up. guess i will just put it in my friendster. He is really very round.

2 days later, at this moment that i recall this incident, my heart softens.

This is the power of memories.

On Board 3K 696

"To miss is the ability to love someone though he or she is miles away from you.." ~bibitan~


Time: 7.10 pm


Venue: Hong Kong International Airport


Departure Gate: 11


Flight: 3K 696



Thought: It has been a wonderful holiday. Away from all the heat and warmth. I was quite prepared for this trip, i had enough cash to spend and clothes to keep me warm. The only thing that i am not prepared for is, to miss you.

Twenty minutes more I will be on board. The flight will take 4 hours. it has been a long wait my friends. you have been missed, as much as how i have been on your minds.

I missed my Chevas and martell. Gotta party real hard this coming weekend.

See ya real Soon.



Regards,
bibi tan
4 Dec 2005 7.15pm